Setting Priorities: A Fatherhood Game Changer | Heroic Fatherhood

Setting Priorities: A Fatherhood Game Changer

Published on 2 November 2018 by Charlie King | Filed in Leadership, Married Life, Mindset

Fatherhood is a massive change to any man’s life. To anyone who doesn’t have kids, it’s really difficult to explain the types of changes that we go through when we take on the title “Dad." 

My journey into Fatherhood included a lot of freaking out, overwhelm and stress eating. 

When I wasn’t waddling around with 3 doughnuts in my hand, my days were lacking the inner confidence that I had come to expect of myself.

And my “inner confidence” didn’t come back the same way. It evolved into something richer and more intuitive. My confidence now shows up differently, because I have kids. Every day is new as a father. Just as you get used to life being "a certain way”, your kids change. They grow, get older, use better vocabulary and have more expensive needs. 

Just like me, my kids evolve and I get to see them become more “themselves.” 

Fatherhood keeps me on my toes a lot of the time. It requires me to think on my feet. It takes WAY more attention than I EVER thought it would. 

Here’s the biggest changes that I’ve incorporated into my life to feel successful as a Dad and Entrepreneur:

Priorities: Deciding and Putting into Action! 

This has been a game changer. I decided my priorities were way out of whack, and I needed to realign them in the new reality of fatherhood, marriage and entrepreneurship. It was a struggle to let go other priorities (Goodbye, TV time! Goodbye, late nights out….), but it was only the first swing. The next re-alignment was the hardest.

I had to put Me First. This may seem counter-intuitive. After all, I’m a Dad, shouldn’t my family, wife or kids come before me?

Absolutely not. It’s like flying on an airplane. The airline attendant reminds us during the preflight briefing that in the event of an emergency, if the oxygen masks come down from the ceiling, we should put our on FIRST before helping anyone else. Because if we don’t put our mask on first, we may not be able to help our kids sitting next to us. 

Our family needs us to be solid, present and engaged. Not perfect. But to be there EVERY DAY, week-in and week-out, we have to take care of our priorities first. 

What This Is:

Make sure your battery is “charged” for when you’re with your family. You’re rested, work is complete, you’ve gotten exercised, eaten well, seen some friends, had some down time. 

What This Is NOT:

An excuse to shirk your responsibilities at home. You family needs you in ways you didn’t think you were capable of. And you TOTALLY can do it. Your “time with friends” priority may have to be filled by a 10-minute coffee conversation in a parking lot with a buddy between errands for diapers.

When you put your priorities ahead as a guide to actions and time commitments, you take the helm of your life. 

Here’s a video I made that's a deeper dive into depth about the kinds of changes men can expect when they become fathers.

Where are you putting the priorities of others ahead of your own? We'd love to hear your experience of how fatherhood has changed you!